this is totally awesome. now that i’m getting back into school mode, i’ve been reconnecting with a lot of counselors, professors, and other staff members. i’ve been actively contacting them as well as reading old emails and messages from them, and they remain and always have been so incredibly warm and welcoming. i definitely remember all their kindness and willingness to help. one of them asked me right away this morning if i wanted to be put on the waitlist for on-campus housing, and i was like heck yeah, i didn’t even know that was an option this late, cuz i know they do a lottery system right about now, and i simply don’t know any current students to group up in to get a suite or to even choose someone to be my roommate. reaching out for help always pays off, yo. i mean, it wouldn’t have been horrible – i would have ended up living in collegetown (which isn’t a bad choice at all). buuut i’ll have a chance to live in collegetown junior and senior year. so anyways, apparently spots will open up on west campus (which is where all the sophomores live) due to people studying abroad or just not returning to school, which frees up space for people like me returning from health leaves. these housing options include cascadilla, sheldon court, and schuyler house, which are all in collegetown right by campus. i remember living in north campus freshman year was sick cuz all the freshmen were required to live there. it was such a fast and quick way to meet everyone. west campus will be similar in that mostly sophomores live there.
let’s just say it pays off to have connections! people are more willing to help than you might think. i’m also really grateful that all of these people are still on campus 5 years later, cuz it’s been quite a while since i’ve seen them or was even able to see them. i’m sure the school has changed in a lot of different ways, but some things will always remain the same.
another update is that i called CAPS (counseling and psychiatric services) at cornell earlier to see if i could get paired up with both a counselor and a psychiatrist, and it looks like i’m jumping the gun, cuz they told me to call in august. i guess they don’t think that’s too late to find a counselor, but i’m afraid it does seem a little late to me to find a psychiatrist. finding a psychiatrist is a little more urgent, cuz it has to do with medication and prescriptions. hopefully, cornell is willing to prescribe the med i’m on – “clozaril.”
why do i think they might not? i remember when i first got on clozaril two years ago, CVS absolutely refused to stock it, claiming that it was too dangerous of a med. this is partly true (that it’s dangerous), because the side effects are blood disorders like leukemia, etc. which is why i still have to go to a lab to get my blood drawn every month to see if my blood cell count is in check. then the results need to be faxed to both my psychiatrist and my pharmacy, and then finally i can get the prescription. however, it’s not just pharmacies that have an issue stocking clozaril, a lot of psychiatrists have turned me away right when they heard i was on clozaril. it’s just really controversial, so professionals tend to have a very extreme opinion on it. so, let’s hope i don’t run into trouble on campus for needing clozaril. i considered switching to a different medication that doesn’t require me to jump through all these hoops, but my psychiatrist didn’t think it was a good idea cuz we don’t wanna change anything in the formula since i’m on the right track. he’s right too – the last thing we want right now is for me to change my meds, have an episode, then interfere with my readiness to return. so i’m sticking to clozaril…and i hope cornell’s chill with it. frankly, it works really well for me…and if it ain’t broke, ya don’t fix it.
also, i forget if i mentioned this to you, but i was looking up student organizations to join. and there were 3 main themes i was going for: christian groups, lgbt groups, and mental health groups. i had no problem finding christian groups and lgbt groups; however, i couldn’t find anything on mental health, and i felt really disappointed about it. i knew i needed to start one if they didn’t have it, cuz people get straight up depressed there, especially in the winter time. i remember in the 1.5 years that i spent there, there were at least 11 people that committed suicide. for all these reasons, i was in disbelief that cornell didn’t offer any resources regarding mental illness. HOWEVER. when i got my email confirmation that my return from my health leave of absence was approved by the committee, one of the bullet points they mentioned to me was to check out the “cornell minds matter” website. at first, i was like what the heck is “cornell minds matter.” then i clicked the website, and found that it’s a full-blown website focusing solely on mental health and its resources. nicely done, cornell…nicely done.
in other news, i’m growing out my hair a few inches longer than i normally do, and it is showing no signs of falling. my hair is suuuuuper thick and coarse. it has a mind of its own, so it looks cray when i grow it longer. it just sticks straight out without giving. and yes, those are my natural eyebrows.