you ever see a couple fight in public or interact in a way that’s less than loving? yeah, that stuff breaks my heart, and it’s so much easier to pick up on than you may think. love needs to be mutual, otherwise it’s not love…it’s slavery. i was once a slave to love and a slave of love, doing anything and everything to make someone else happy and ended up making myself very, very empty. trust me, it’s no way to live. in fact, it’s the perfect way to fall into a trap. the more you devote to your partner, the more he or she will feel secure in his/her control over you and trust me, they’re gonna go looking for something else. this doesn’t apply to just anyone though, i’m not saying this is always the case. but have you noticed the harder you try, the less they care? the easier you become, the less they attach to you. i’m talking about that kind of person that already shows signs and symptoms of narcissism. narcissistic, arrogant, and selfish people are a horrible recipe for love. these people are basically adult versions of children, and i don’t see at all why someone in their right mind would waste a millisecond spending time with narcissists. they’re so wrapped up in their own world, and there you are, trying to give more and more to them. not good, my friend, not good at all.. the perfect recipe for a perfect disaster.
what’s a takeaway from all this? avoid this situation at all costs, because it will end up costing you your life. i got out of it by staying strong and true to myself. i refused to be pushed around and cheated on. i couldn’t put up with it anymore. i had to hold on to the very little dignity i had left. i was drained to the last drop. i simply couldn’t give more. i had already given it all. and yet it still wasn’t enough. why wasn’t it enough? it should’ve been, but it wasn’t.
so i remained in a state of cognitive dissonance for a long, long time. cognitive dissonance is when you have two opinions of reality. you can either accept it or deny it. you see glimpses of the ugly truth when you let it expose itself, but most other times, you bury it and hide it. you wear a mask. you put on that smile. but for who? certainly not for you, cuz hiding your own emotional pains does not do anyone any good. you need to vent it out, you need to verbalize your thoughts, you need to reach out for support. tell others how you feel and why you feel that way. don’t be defensive about your partner. do not make excuses for them. ask yourself if you would ever have done what they did to you. i bet you wouldn’t. you have so much more character than your partner in this case, so please. don’t be so afraid to believe what you believe. you just might be right.
i could write about this for hours, but it’s been about 10 minutes and i’m fed up with it already. it stresses me out so much, cuz it strikes such a deep chord within me. trust me, don’t let me continue, i would go off for days on it. i would keep talking until i finally talk some sense into you. you can trust me, i speak your language..
grow up, for your own sake.