hey everyone! happy monday!
i just had a total blast from the past morning. i grabbed coffee with an old friend of mine from the cornell hotel school for a good two hours. it was so nice seeing him, because i typically associate my time spent at cornell with trauma, hurt, and pain. i didn’t think the friends i made there would stick by me, but they have and he has. some people just aren’t as vocal about it as others. for these reasons, i haven’t been wonderful at keeping in touch with my friends from cornell. i feel that they have seen me and known me at a very difficult time in my life when i was not acting like myself. quite frankly, i am left feeling a bit embarrassed, shameful, and disappointed looking back on the alter ego i took on there. seeing this old friend this morning, and being able to converse openly about our past memories there and mutual friends from there was both therapeutic and healing. it was comforting realizing that my own negative memories of myself were invalidated based on his surprisingly positive impression of me.
for the longest time, i have tried to completely bury my time at cornell so deeply in my past that i’ve forgotten the cathartic effects of letting trauma surface and settle. it’s time that i try processing the difficult memories and let all the negativity boil to the surface to disappear. this is the next logical step if i want to challenge myself to improve. i need to analyze myself and my past through that very trying time. i can do this! pain needs to be processed as soon as one is ready so that it does not fester and consume.