i see my therapist every wednesday, which makes it my favorite day of the week; i get better and better every time. if my sessions were recorded, i feel like they would get views on views on views on youtube. i’ll tell you why my therapist is so good… we just click!
to give you a tid bit of what we covered today… the latest concept i’ve been struggling with is that in order to build my self-esteem, i have to understand where i measure when i’m placed next to other people in society cuz competing with myself isn’t quite as effective for me. it’s true that i can’t compete with others and that i need to compete with myself…but to truly understand where i stand, i need to see where everyone else stands as well.
here…it’s like this. i used to think everyone else was perfect, and i’m still fighting to understand that nobody can be perfect. however, i tend to look for the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt when that’s clearly not correct. it’s an instinct, so having to break the habit is really counterintuitive. but i need to do this, because the more i think everyone else is perfect, the lower my view of myself is; and to be honest, it leaves me at the bottom of the food chain. so, the more realistically i see people, the more i will know where i fall in comparison.
competition has never been appealing to me, but sometimes we need that blunt perspective. i’m definitely well aware of my own flaws and weaknesses, so now i just need to process that it’s possible for everyone else to have vulnerabilities too.
this problem is only gonna get worse the more people i meet and the higher i go in life, so i need to nip it in the bud and get over it. it’s okay for us to be different, and it’s okay for me to believe in myself every once in a while.