everyone put in your antes

game’s about to start.

i’m picking up a pattern to my anger, and my parents are playing a hand in it.  i wouldn’t say they themselves are angering me, but certain actions of theirs will trigger within me a completely unreasonable and unjustified anger that just wants to burst.  
for example, there’s one thing my dad does that really gets to me.  i get really ticked off when he quietly creeps up behind me, invades my personal bubble, and snoops over my shoulder to see what i’m working on.  it totally pisses me off, and it really shouldn’t to the extent that it does.  right when he leaves the room, i feel like i’m gonna explode with anger.  it’s really, really unreasonable of me, but i’m thinking i underwent some serious childhood trauma that has contributed to that.  i actually have a really good idea what happened and how it happened.

i’m really hesitant to see how i would react if someone tried something more intimate.  i’m not sure i could ever accept that.  of course, it’s really early in the healing/recovery process.

also, thanks for everyone who i haven’t talked to in a while who reached out to me due to my last few posts.  thanks?  didn’t realize y’all were keeping tabs on me, but it means a lot!




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